and now

i survived...
the week and after

but its harder now
stronger by the day
yet more fragile

will know in a few weeks

time is ticking away

nothing else matters

all that matters is how i get through the next 10 days
if i get through them that is
if i survive through then - wow - i know im the same person, only stronger and surer
if i dont get through them - then i know im paralysed for life
kidding!
the only thing that matters is - the goal, the purpose
thats all that is on my mind
its an obsession
a mad passion
driving me, motivating me
im numb to everything else
fear anger love longing
nothing else matters




for now or maybe forever

run to where?

aao huzoor tumko ,sitaron mein le chaloo,
dil jhoom jaaye aise , bahaaron mein le chaloo ,
aao huzoor tumko sitaron mein le chalo
dil jhoom jaaye aise , huzoor aaoo

u can move on
u can forget
u can become indifferent
but what do u do with the memories
what do u do when u cannot listen to a song without figures dancing in front of ur eyes
what does one do when every little thing is a constant pointer to something that was and isnt anymore
how do u reconcile with the fact that something that was the world isnt even worth ash anymore
how do i sort these feelings of angst and anger and violation and love
run i will..but where..and from whom...and until when?

can one ever move on
if there is anything called love
does one really get over it
can one love again

emotions are for real:)

Hanging by a moment...

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me now...

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you....

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

Just hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment here with you

Yet, Im hanging by a moment...that you probably did not even feel...letting go off everything I have ever hold on to...simply because now it's nothing but you...I'm falling even more in luv with you...

Sux coz I have a ticket for The Lifehouse Concert on this Monday, but I can't go coz I have finals :( and I need to compensate for all the procrastination and fun I have indulged in throughout the semester...

TOO MUCH

It's been crazy buzy here...too much work and even more fun...I know I made a commitment to write and share the feelings that arise in this sentifool's heart. However, at times these feelings were too complicated, too scandalous, too personal or too trivial. Too much happening either way. But too much is not enough, right? So there is much more waiting to reveal itself...Only problem being have finals in less than two weeks and I'm super-screwed is an understatement. Not kidding! So I'm gonna take sometime off...At any rate, before signing off I have to share two mundane yet very interesting realizations in the these two odd weeks of insane activity
1. A few mistakes are too much fun to make only once!
2. Impossible is Nothing!

damn...

emotions unadelterated- they don't subside...neither do they fade nor do they die...they simply get even more intense...
the dual between the binaries or a co-existence of paradoxes...to be or not to be...to do or not to do...
is denial better than acceptance?
iv been trying to find answers to the storm raging within me right now...its tearing me apart...what i am supposed to do in contrast with what i am doing...what happened as opposed to what should happen...black or white? selfless or selfish? to let go or hold on...
what to do if u cant do what u want to do...